the ultimate peep show…

work and work in progress

work is killing me lately. i’m soo busy, i don’t have time to blog. now that’s just ridiculous. i mean, how awful is that when work interferes with blogging – WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TOO!!!!? my apologies to all those wonderful people who’s blogs i haven’t gotten to lately, i desperately need to catch up.

as far as the “work in progress” is concerned, that would be referencing a new side-blog i’m starting. i have taken up [hula] hooping within the last week, and it’s all i think about. I am going to document my journey through the circle and finding my centrifical force. there will be music and LOTS of it. Music moves hoopers. It’s not just the crazy hip gyrations that we remember as kids. It’s an art. A benefit of this – it’s CARDIO!!! YEAH! I can burn something like 450 calories an hour with a hoop that i made. I know an hour sounds like a LOT of hooping, but as i said, it’s not what we all remember it as. You get lost in it. Here’s a clip of some hoop-dancers at Burning Man.

So yeah – if you get a chance, stop over at Hoopn’ and Groovn’ – My Journey Through Centrifical Bliss and I’ll have some stories and experiences up, as well as lots of music, that i’m sure you haven’t heard before. I listen to a LOT of jam bands, so most of it will be stuff you haven’t heard on the radio. =) Take care and be good.

peace and light.

no PARENT left behind

I was forwarded this in an email this morning and it was too funny NOT to share. Although I must admit, it’s rather embarrassing to the people in Alabama entire population. Just imagine how their children speak!!! Some of my friends call me a spelling/grammar nazi, so this is outrageous to me…

These are real notes written by parents in an ALABAMA school district.

Spellings have been left intact.

 

1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc’s john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5.. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don’t know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won’t be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

 

tattoos [and piercings], need i say more?

just as a warning, this will probably be long and dauntingly boring. now that that’s over, here’s the stories:

now, i don’t have many tattoos (or piercings for that matter). I absolutely ADORE the ones i have though, and can’t wait to get more. people always talked about tattoos as an addiction. they get the ‘itch’. i always thought they were insane, and should be locked up for wanting to be poked by a needle a thousand times over.

THEN, a friend of mine had the most amazing work done. i knew right then (4 years ago) that i had to have a tattoo, and i HAD to have that artist. I never knew what i wanted. there’s always the fallback of the lower back tattoo, right? now, don’t get me wrong, i have seen some GORGEOUS lower back work, but most “kids” my age get it done and it looks cheap. so – what to do?

After a little while I had my son. [Most amazing day of my life, and the ONLY day i’ve ever cried because i was so happy. BUT that’s another story]. Now, I knew what I wanted tattooed. Something about my son, something that would remind me of him all the time, and something that i KNEW i would never regret. Two and a half years down the road, I settled on the handprint. Of course, I googled it, just like everything else. NOTHING came up. I was elated. I can’t stand having the same thing as someone else, or to be seen as copycatting another person’s ideas. I called the artist immediately and asked him what he needed – just my son’s handprint inked to a piece of posterboard. Easy enough. I decided to have it placed on the back of my left shoulder (scapula, for those who love proper medical terminology). I picked this spot for several reasons

1. after seeing how i stretch from being preggo, and what the skin looks like – i would NEVER get a tattoo on a “stretchy” spot, until after i KNOW i’m done having babies.
2. i wanted people to be able to see it, but still have it hidden while at work
3. [the most important reason] it’s where he always placed his hand on me, while i held/carried him [insert ooh-ing and aah-ing]

So, it’s all decided and I just needed to brace myself for the pain. Truth be known, there was no pain. It really didn’t hurt at all. I thought to myself at the moment “this is going to be bad. no pain. beautiful artwork. relaxation. spending time with a good friend. yeah, this is not good.” Once he showed it to me in the mirror, I couldn’t believe how remarkable it looked. There are even ink swirls, from his handprint, palm lines, and shading from where his hand hit the paper. The only thing left, was to show the REAL judge – my son. You know what he said first? “MOMMY!!! A CLUE! A CLUE! YOU HAVE A HANDPRINT CLUE ON YOUR BACK!” For those of you with children, I’m sure you’ll understand that he was referencing the tv show Blues Clues, where the kids all yell out “A CLUE! A CLUE!” everytime they seen one of Blue’s pawprints on something. So great – I’m a clue. I always wanted to know what that felt like. .:cough:.sarcasm.:cough:. He loves it, to the point where I’ve ended up bearing more than just my shoulder, when he decides to show people at the grocery store, church, work, preschool, etc. He’s very proud of it, which makes me happy. I get compliments on it all the time, for how different it is. It’s nice to have my first tattoo mean so much to me.

NOW the next “body mod” if you will, that I had done was my monroe piercing. I’ve had discussions about this [and tattoos] here, with Moonbeam McQueen . This is my FAVORITE piercing. Unfortunately for me, it didn’t work out. Again, no pain, but my second job would allow it. SO i tried disguising it with a retainer – GENIUS! Not really. I left the retainer in, without checking it for two days. I went to take it out and replace it with the stud, while returning to my office job for the week, and lo-and-behold the inside of my lip grew over the retainer’s post! i’m so fucking serious, why would i make that up? So, i sat in the bathroom, almost crying and ready to pass out, scratching my skin over the post, trying to recreate a hole for the back of the post to slip though so I could take it out. My lip swelled up pretty

bad on the inside. I didn’t put the regular jewelry back in. This sucked, but it was my own negligence that led to this I’ll know better for next time.

My first tattoo was July 27, 2007. Come October and November I was ready for more. In October, I got a nautilus shell on the top of my foot. The reason for the nautilus, is explained here, in one of my earlier posts. It’s still not finished, once it’s done it will be fully shaded in with reds, oranges and yellows. It’s gonna be gorgeous. The stars will stay empty. I chose the

top of my foot for this because again, it’s not going to stretch and also because it’s still a pretty unique spot. Most people won’t get the top of their foot tattooed due to all the pain. Lucky for me, my foot numbed up with the first prick of the needle and i didn’t really feel a thing. Call me crazy, but there were a few times where the needle would pass over a nerve or bone and I would actually let out a giggle. Anyway… this tattoo is also meaningful, which brings me to tattoo #3 – a piece of art, with no sentiments attached.

About three weeks later my friend (the tattoo artist) called me back in to the shop. He had a WONDERFUL idea for a new tattoo. He told me, “You’re totally going to love this. It’s gonna look SOOoOO hot when it’s done. What do you think about fish and anemone?” I was kinda shocked at first, but then i decided that he knows me pretty well and therefore I’d trust his choice. So this last tattoo (also not finished yet) is a beautiful work of art in the process. He did a lovely outline that i can NOT wait to have colored in. He’s been busy lately and i’m just waiting patiently to get them finished. This tattoo is placed on the frot of my leg, RIGHT above where my foot bends and goes around the side, to just over my ankle. It looks SUPER cute with a pair of skater shoes and ankle/no-show socks. I’m glad i trusted him on this one, it’s really working out and again, i get LOTS of compliments. My son always tries to “find Nemo” on my leg, which can get frustrating when i’m at church or wearing a skirt.

Now I wanted piercings. AAAhahahahaha. Yes, like a madwoman, I called up a friend of mine and asked if she wanted to go with me – this time i was getting two! As you might have guessed, I got the monroe again, except this time it hurt like HELL . I think it was because it went through the scar tissue left from the first one. After the receiving tube is stuck through my lip – i hear “OH SHIT”. That’s never good. Ends up that as he went to get the gem for the jewelry, which he dropped, the post slipped into my mouth. This guy then proceeded to try and find the hole with the post. He just goes poking away at the inside of my lip, meanwhile I have blood droplets forming from the hole on the outside of my lip. Before I could tell him to stop, he quickly grabbed the thongs, pinched my lip again and shoved the needle and receiving tube through my lip again, only this time, RIGHT below the last hole. And dear god, I though the first one hurt, this one made my eyes tear. like, rolling down my cheek tears. I wasn’t verbally crying or making noise, i just couldn’t control the flood coming down my right cheek. After that situation was all taken care of, he asked if I still wanted my second piercing. HELL YES i did!!! SO, after a brief walk outside in the cold air, I took my rightful seat back in the torture chair. Now I don’t have my monroe anymore. What happened, you ask!!!? Well, four days after getting this done my son was being a typical three-year old and not listening and dunking various foods from the dinner table, in everyone’s glasses of water, and not listening when i asked him to stop. i opened my mouth to be louder, and since the piercing was lower than it should be, the flat nail-head part of the post got caught on my tooth and when i kept opening my mouth and – you guessed it – I pulled the jewelry in through my lip and swallowed it. Yes, gem and all still attached – ZOOP – right through my lip. again, that hurt – hurt like a …. i don’t know. it hurt real bad, though. I am not giving up on it though. One more time for me, and I’m visiting a different piercer.

The next piercing would be my rook. This went through quite well, and without a hitch. The only bizarre part about it is this: since it’s pierced in cartilage, there’s this hideous *CRACK* or *POP* when the needle goes through. *POP* when it enters.. then this weird feeling as it passed through tissue in the middle and then *POP* again as it exited. It didn’t hurt one bit, and it looks fabulous! Most people that have a rook piercing get it done with a CBR (captive bead ring)… one of those circular hoops with the bead in the middle. I chose to have a curved barbell put in place. As my piercings do, it healed quickly and without infection.

Sadly that brings me to the end of my piercing and tattoo stories as of today. Thanks for bearing with me, but I’ve had people ask about my experiences and here ya have it. Not too exciting, for the most part – but they’re here!

Have a great weekend. Peace.

ps. YES, the piercing and tattoo photos are my piercings and tattoos – no canned images here. You people are special – you get the real deal. hehe. =)

4 Things (a meme)

I got this meme from Alyson at Welcome to Wherever You Are.  Thank you!

4 Jobs I’ve Had:

Babysitting

Salesperson at a fresh produce stand in a farmer’s market

Cashier/Retail Pee-on

Administrative Assistant

4 Movies Watched Over and Over:

Ratatouille, I ask my son to watch it all the time.  haha.  not to mention the animation and attention to detail is phenomenal (ie: hair/fuzz on the rats ears)

Scent of a Woman

Fight Club

From Hell.  Johnny Depp’s just hot no matter what movie he’s in.

4 Places I’ve Lived:

with a Filipino family for a year – i love filipino food now

the country with my family

to the city with a not-at-the-time-ex

back to the country with the fam

4 Shows I Watch:

House, MD

Spongebob Squarepants

CSI (Las Vegas)

Law&Order: SVU

4 Places I’ve Been:

Helena, MT

NYC, NY not as big of a deal as people make it, but oh well

Topsail Island, NC GORGEOUS

Chigago, IL

People Who email Me Regularly:
people that can make my member bigger even though i dont’ have one… they must be pretty damn good

MySpace comment/mail notifications

my boss

my uncle

4 Favorite Things to Eat:

Sinigang Na  Baboy a filipino dish… it’s a sour soup made with Tamarind (souring agent) and pork (baboy).

Sushi i love it all, and am open to trying anything.

Mexican food in general.

Crab Rangoon

4 Places I’d Rather Be:

The beach

Denver, Colorado it’s sooo gorgeous there.  i WILL move there someday!  hopefully not too far in the future!

with my son

just driving around with some good music and good friends

4 Things I Look Forward to This Year:

Tax refund check WOOHOO, always love this time of year

losing some more weight

hopefully getting a new car

moving

4 People to Tag:

4 people that are BRAVE and daring enough to try this out.  haha.  jk, just have fun!

Mahna Mahna

I came across these gems last night and couldn’t help but share it with the world. Many of you, like myself, remember watching The Muppet Show. This video was a random act in one of the episodes and spawned an annoyingly semi-popular song. They also did a version on Sesame Street but this one’s better – it’s the original

Now – the video that I REALLY wanted you to see. We’re all aware of the endless rivalry between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Also, that there’s a ton million bazillion infinite number of videos that poke fun at the two of them. This is no exception, and the creator of this has some mad photoshop skills. Again, it’s the Mahna Mahna song, which I’m sure you already have stuck in your head, but it’s definitely worth the watch. The way the person places the two of them, and how he dresses them is hysterical. Let me know your favorites!

ps. As an added bonus the creator also threw in a jab at Dubya and also at Mr. Hillary Clinton. :p

the horrors of being a little boy

A few days ago my son woke up in tears, not crying.. just whining, at least it’s that’s what it sounded like at 5am.

“MOMMY!” I hear a somewhat frantic cry from his bed. As I turn to look at him he looks down and then back up at me, “Why my pee-pee SO big!!??” Ahh… having to explain a pee boner to a 3-year old. That was interesting. Now he also realizes that he can make it big whenever he wants. *sigh* I guess all boys start at a young age. Needless to say, there aren’t tears about it anymore…

Honestly though, it took all i had in me to NOT laugh at first. It was such a funny moment and that he was so shocked by it just amused me, and I found it odd that he never noticed it before. Now I just need to find a way to tie his hands up or something so he stops playing with it!

I’ll see you in the morning.

That’s what my son told me this morning after shaking my hand as I was ready to walk out the door.   Actually, I’ll see him at dinner time but he was trying to be so proper, that I couldn’t stand to correct him.

He’s such a good kid.

I scooped him up to give him a hug before I turned to leave for work. I feel a tiny pat on my back and a whisper in my ear, “it’s ok mommy. I’ll see you later, sweetheart (which actually sounds more like fweepheart, with a southern accent. he mocks me for calling him sweetheart all the time). i can’t go to work with you. I’ll be good. you NEED to put me down now mommy…”

I guess I’m the one with separation issues here….

name name bo bame, banana fanna fo fame, me mi mo mame – NAME GAME!

(I SO heard you singing that just now!) .:applause:.

yes – it’s a meme. hehe. i found it while randomly browsing people’s blogs and stumbled upon it at Charlotte’s Web. Don’t feel obligated to take part in this, i just found it amusing and wanted to share. I hope you enjoy it!

1. My rock star name (first pet and current car)
Max Saturn

2. My gangsta name (ice cream flavour and cookie or biscuit)
Peppermint Shortbread (wtf?!! i’m a Charlie Brown character…. basically, but a little more ghetto, it seems)

3. My fly girl name (first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)
L-Eup (it sounds like “alley-oop!” birth name: K-Fri. blah – too close to K-Fed. I can’t win, I guess no matter what I’m not fly)

4. My detective name (favourite colour, favourite animal)
Green Boxer

5. My soap opera name (middle name, city of birth)
Lynn Lenhartsville (wow I sound like a bitch)

6. My Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two of your first name)
Eup Le (TOTALLY better than the fly name. Using birth name= Fri Kr…. uhm… NO. close to commander Riker from StarTREK Next Gen., whom people say my dad looks like)

7. My superhero name (second favourite colour, favourite drink, add “the”)
The Blue Red Death (ok.. so maybe i’m a colorblind, evil superhero!!?)

8. My Nascar name (first two names of my two grandfathers)
John Roy (omg, I swear that’s real… i know it sounds too perfectly hickish, but i swear I didn’t make that up! hahaha)

9. My stripper name (favourite perfume, favourite sweet)
Blush Pirouette (have you EVER tried those devilishly delicious treats from Peppridge Farm!!?! it’s impossible to stop eating them)

10. My witness protection name (mother’s and father’s middle names)
Ann Edward (blah)

11. My weather anchor name (fifth grade teacher’s name, a major city beginning with the same letter)
Carl Chicago (BUT since i’m a chick I’ll use my 4th grade teacher, making me – Diane Denver)

12. My spy name (favourite season/flower)
Summer Orchid

13. Cartoon name (favourite fruit plus garment you’re wearing, with an “ie” or “y” added)
Mango Slippery (this reminds me of Chris Kattan’s “Mango” from SNL?? “Mango is like a drug. You must have more and more and more of the Mango until there is no Mango left. Not even for Mango!”)

14 Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast plus favourite tree)
Water Cherry (this is hippie-ish, HOW?!!)

15. Your rockstar tour name (favourite hobby plus weather element, with “the”)
The Quilted Rain (hell yes! that’s deep….)

lies my parents told me…

your parents lied to you. i’m sorry if you’re sobbing now, but they did. as i’m raising my own child, who is now three, i have multitudes of time to reflect on what my parents told me or would have told me in any given situation. i think we all have those moments.

now, i grew up in an über -sheltered household (read: i never saw a movie that had a rating of PG-13 or higher until i was 18). god this is going to be embarrassing. ANYWHO, my sister and i watched a million cartoons like any other child. LOTS of cartoons. good cartoons though, like Elmer Fudd and Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, stuff like that… now whenever someone was in LOVE on a cartoon, you always seen those little hearts appear out of nowhere and they’d start batting their eyelashes like crazy. my mom used to tell us that this was “flirting”. when i asked her specifically, which part of that was flirting, she showed me by batting her eyelashes and making the most bizarre googly eyes i have ever seen. i trusted my mom on this. in the third grade… i went to this guy i liked and started batting my eyelashes at him, probably looking like i had come sort of disorder. He gave me the most bizarre look, laughed, and ran away. I got home and looked it up in the dictionary (no, at the time there was no “googling” the meaning for everything, i actually had to get a papercut and look up the word using a REAL dictionary – WOW was it worth it.).

flirt (flûrt)
v. flirt·ed, flirt·ing, flirts

v. intr.

1. To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures.
2. Flirting is a form of human interaction, usually expressing a sexual or romantic interest in the other person. It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact. It may be one-sided or reciprocated.

Seriously, i then knew why he laughed at me. I then proceeded down the stairs to scold my mother for lying to me. That was really just ONE of the times when she lied about something stupid and i took what she said outside of our little deranged and deceitful household.

Other popular lies my parents told me:

• vaseline/lotion cures all invisible boo-boos immediately
• that makeup makes me ugly
• swallowed gum stays in your stomach for 7 years – SO not true! my stomach should explode by now, because of the quantity i’ve managed to swallow while in school
• the black watermelon seeds will cause a watermelon vine to grow in your stomach
• crossing your eyes and sneezing will cause them to stay like that
• my dad used to tell me that if i kept so many blankets on me all the time, i’d grow worms. i’m proud to say that i’m worm-free to this day!

I guess i just never understood why they lied to us about stupid little things. i make it a point to tell my son the truth all the time, even though he’s three – he asked once what HOOTERS were, after driving by one day. I told him they were boobs. he just laughed. later that night at dinner with my mom (the super conservative) and my dad (the man that acts like nothing’s ever funny or amusing), i started conversation and asked my son what he did today. he said to my parents, “i like hooters. granny [my mom], you have a REALLY nice hooters.” i was in tears, and i couldn’t even bring myself up off the floor to tell him to stop. my mom turned red and ran out of the room. my dad, believe it or not, seemed like he was ready to piss his pants he was laughing so hard. all he sad through his wheezing laughter was “yes, she does”.

see – being honest with kids is FUN. lol. i know i sure as hell won’t lie to my son about anything, i don’t believe in sugar-coating.

ps. I DID get a piece of good advice from my dad, which i have learned, is no lie – in regards to letting your gas pass as a belch rather than, well…. gas. “it’s better to belch and taste it than fart and waste it.” right on dad, right on.

end ramblings. i know this doesn’t make sense, and is jumbled up – i’m multi-tasking at work now and i can’t think straight. hopefully the next post will be a little more connected. 🙂